Surprise!

Surprise! I'm engaged and I get to marry this handsome boy in eight short days. I couldn't be more excited.

To follow us, the Jacobs, and our adventures together, wander on over to our new blog:

THE GOOD LIFE.

Matter of Opinion.

A few days ago, a good friend tweeted: "We're all struggling with something whether it's apparent or not. Show love to one another by beating each other's burdens." This quote hit me really hard. How true is this? How often do we judge before we know the whole situation; before we know that person's personal trials? I know I do more than I should.

This quote has really affected my thoughts as the world has blown up over the priesthood session protest. I do have my own personal opinions on this situation, and why I will not be attending. This being said, the women who have different opinions than I are daughters of our Heavenly Father. They are my sisters. Instead of telling them they don't understand the gospel and that they shouldn't be invited to the Lord's church, I think we should do as the quote says and show them love by helping them beat their burdens. We're all here to learn.  We all struggle with different things. As much as all of us would love to say we understand the gospel perfectly, nobody does. Who are we to tell them they don't understand when we don't understand either?

I'm not saying I think we should all show up to the protest because personally, I believe differently. I am saying, however, that if I was struggling with something, I would want my sisters to help me as well. I think of Jesus Christ and the example he set for me when he healed the sick, comforted those who needed comfort, and loved those who hated him. I am not perfect in the slightest, and I have numberless ways I need to grow and learn and change, but I hope I can try to follow Christ's example and love all my brothers and sisters, no matter what they believe - no matter what they do. It's not my place to judge anyone; it's only my place to love them. 

Sappy.

You stumbled into my life on a sunny afternoon in August. And as I watched you surf while the sun began to dip below the lake, I couldn't comprehend the infinite way you would impact my future. Slowly you became my best friend. Somewhere between the bowling nights, eighties dancing, Sunday drives, Empire of the Sun concerts, and entire nights spent eating brownies straight out of the pan, talking about everything and anything, you became mine. And it scared me. I was scarred, damaged from the last smothering, horrifying relationship in my life, and I didn't want to willingly bring that upon myself again. You knew that. And that's the thing. You respected me enough to be my friend and my friend only until I was ready, until I trusted you enough to love you. My entire being was surrounded by walls; walls that were built brick by brick, heartbreak by heartbreak. Standing in front of that little redbox in the Walmart entrance, my walls began to crumble, and all I saw was you.

I adore everything about you, really. The way you hold my hand in the car and put your arm around me when we're doing homework. The way you tell me I'm beautiful even when I closely resemble a trainwreck and how you respond, "no, you're good" when asked if I PMS terribly. (I do). I fall deeper and deeper every time I look at you. It's amazing how quickly you've become my second half. You're amazing, honestly. And I could spend hours and hours typing out each one of your wonderful qualities. But really, when push comes to shove, you make me happy. One hundred and twenty percent happy. You make me more of myself and I love that. I love more than just that, though.

So, baby (hah), thank you for being you. You're my favorite part of every day, and life with you is so much better.

Photo Credit.

1. I need to tell you something, look at 11

2. It's really important that you know, so look to 8

3. I'm just going to say it. Look at 13

4. Last one I promise, look to 9.

5. It's coming, I promise, go to 14

6. I'm just nervous, I'll tell you, at 3

7. I'm working up the courage, look to 10

8. I know, I know. You're getting angry. look at 12, you're almost there.

9. I just want to tell you that I love you

10. Alright, here it comes, at 15

11. I'm going to tell you, go to 6

12. Just look at 4.

13. I know, you're probably getting bugged, go to 7

14.You're almost there, now look at 2

15. Be patient, look at 5

As I sat in that white room last night, flipping through those thin sheets of paper, I realized something that will forever change my thoughts on you. Timing. It isn't mine. I can't decide who, or when, or even how. That's a decision for our higher power; the highest power. And suddenly the words from his Monday email made sense, "When it comes down to it, focusing on the present and having faith that the future will be bright is probably the best thing to do, but is much easier said than done. Do you think you'd be able to perfectly plan a future if you had the chance? If it were me, I think I would probably botch it somehow and would be better off letting God do his job. Cue the quote: "Come what may, and love it."

Because I don't know. This week gave me something I didn't have before: a template. I was in the presence of two incredible human beings for five days that, if nothing else, gave me a glimpse of what the highest power has in store for me. For the first time, I saw two men who were everything I could hope for. So I'll let God work out the timing and the person. I don't know what's best for me, but He does. He's looking out for me.

Real.

I read so many blogs. Blogs about newlywed couples, my friends going on missions, people from school getting engaged; you name it. I read so many blogs about so many people in so many different stages in life. I read these blogs and all I see is the fluff. The couple together through high school who got married after his mission and have the perfect wedding videos and wedding and instagram and film together for a living. The couple who fell in love in the last three months of his mission via letters and had the most perfect wedding and marriage and she loves nail polish and bakes lots of cookies. The girl who writes about bands and scriptures and fashion and has everything in her life so entirely put together. As far as their blogger world is concerned, their lives are perfect.

I know I've been absent from blogging since I left for college, and I think that's why. My life isn't perfect. My nails last one day before they're chipped and I often don't have time to repaint them, I had to skip that California trip because I didn't have enough money, my room is messy most of the time. I don't have a boyfriend who loves me or a pretty engagement ring on my finger. My car runs out of gas quicker than I'd like and instead of spending my paycheck on that longboard I'm drooling over or that pair of sunglasses at Nordstrom, I'm putting money down for my apartment. I don't have a good relationship with my extended family and I am not a huge advocate of family parties because I don't feel loved there. (If anyone in my extended family is reading this, please don't give me pity or call me to say you love me. I'm fine.) I have a hard time with things and sometimes just cry because I'm a girl and I'm hormonal. And this is the truth of it; the real.

The reality of it is that even though my life isn't perfect, my life is so good. I have a family that loves me and I love them. I have a best friend that brings me caramel apples at work and goes on Sunday drives to the temple with me just to talk about life. I can't sleep on Sunday nights because I receive emails from the most lovely boy in the whole entire world each Monday morning. I swim for Brigham Young University and love my team. I always have cupcakes to bake, clothes to wear, and a place to call home. 

I sat outside the other day calling my brothers' lacrosse faceoffs with running shorts on and my hair in a topknot. We were laughing and playing and the sun was shining down over us. And that's what makes life beautiful.

I'm not here to be perfect, I'm here to be real. I'm so thankful for this beautiful life God has blessed me with, and from now on, I'm determined to live it to the fullest.

I'm back, guys.

Coach.

 coach

noun

1. a person who trains an athlete or a team of athletes.

When I think of the one person outside my family who has had the greatest influence on my life, it is my coach. He is so much more than a coach to me; more than just a person who trains an athlete or a team of athletes. He is like my second father. He is the man that helped me tape my hand to a paddle after I smashed it in the car door before morning practice, he is the man who has told me through my breakups that I deserve better, he is the man who supported me even when I signed to an opposing school. He's the man who took me to my first championship meet and helped me get through my nerves before the 400 IM. He ordered my tech suits and would give me monthly talks about how I need to be on time to practice. He's the man who took my swimming goals personally and did everything in his power to help me accomplish them. He's the man who told my team before every meet: "Let us be good people, then we can be fast swimmers." He's the man who would get choked up after a hard set because he was proud of me. Dee is so much more than a swimming coach, he's an example to everyone around him. Each athlete he coaches feels his sincere love. He makes us want to be better people; then fast swimmers. 

After listening to my coach's advice when my set was finished today, I looked to Dee for approval and, as always, he was watching my set. I realized then how thankful I am to be able to swim with the most amazing coach. Someone who I completely trust and know wants what's best for me as an athlete and as a person. It's one thing to be a great coach, it's another thing to be a great coach who respects and loves his athletes.

Thank you for everything, coach.

I promise I'll make you proud.